Half Man Half Biscuit

27 Yards Of Dental Floss
Well. I told her that I thought life's too short And we real...

4Ad3Dcd
I dream of occasional fanzine mentions I've been to one too ...

1966 And All That
We sat and decided as the seasons collided That our love was...

13 Eurogoths Floating In The Dead Sea
13 Eurogoths 13 Eurogoths 13 Eurogoths floating in the De...

Worried Man Blues
It takes a worried man to sing a worried song It takes a wor...

Goodnight Irene
Sometimes I live in the country, sometimes I live in the tow...

The Trumpton Riots
Unemployments rising In the Chigley end of town And it's spe...

Them's The Vagaries
You may have to rescue me from limestone quarries frequently...

Even Men With Steel Hearts
Hey Louis Wonderful world, terrible song, everything's gone ...

Ode To Joyce
Hey Joyce, rock and roll never g...

Twenty Four Hour Garage People
I fancy I'll open a stationers, stock quaint notepads fo...

Help Me Rhonda
Since she put me down I been out doin? in my head, I...

Alehouse Futsal
I wanna kill your Sunday morning, call dusk on a new age d...

Swerving The Checkatrade
I heard you walking down our street Emphatic boots on massiv...

Fuckin Ell Its Fred Titmus
Oh I was walking round my favourite store Searching for the ...

What Made Colombia Famous
verse 1 I was the best friend you ever had But that was ...

Look Dad No Tunes
My life is comfortable but I don't want that image f...

All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
There was one in the gang who had Scalextric And because of ...

Every Time A Bell Rings
verse 1 Ground Control to Monty Don, The testimonial sil...

Reasons To Be Miserable Part 10
A fairly attractive girl walks past a building site And from...

King Of Hi Vis
All tickets sold, I head for the wardrobe St John or ShowSec...

National Shite Day
Pulling the ice axe from my leg, I staggered on Spindrift st...

David Wainwrights Feet
Peter's on his skateboard, Ryan's on his bike Steven's over ...

I Trog
Girlfriend's said that she no longer likes me It's 'cos I'm ...

Multitude
When I wade across the Jordan Iâ??ll be shining For I know t...

Soft Verges
So I?m walking down the road and heading towards me Is...

The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
then this bit just the once ...

Dickie Davies Eyes
Mention the Lord of the Rings just once more And I'll more t...

If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day
Outside Goldsmith's coughing up blood Leave it as it is, it'...

There Stands The Glass
There stands the glass, that will ease all my pain T...