Key: G
Introduction:
G C D
Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end
G C D
The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend
Em D C G
And where'de you get those shoes i think there pretty lame
Em D C G
would you stop talking 'cause im trying to watch the game
(chorus)
Em G
If your a man who wants to live
Em G
a long and happy life
Em D G
these are the things you don't say to your wife.
G C D
I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
G C D
I didn't ask you but i knew i'de be ok
Em D C G
I taped it over our old wedding video
(chorus)
G C D
Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes
G C D
The diamond in the ring i bought you is a fake
Em D C G
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill
Em D C G
Happy aniversary i bought you a treadmill
(chorus)
Em G Em G
If you a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife,
Em D G
These are the things you don't say to your wife.