Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end
The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend
And where'de you get those shoes i think there pretty lame
would you stop talking 'cause im trying to watch the game
(chorus)
If your a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
these are the things you don't say to your wife.
I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you but i knew i'de be ok
I taped it over our old wedding video
(chorus)
Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes
The diamond in the ring i bought you is a fake
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill
Happy aniversary i bought you a treadmill
(chorus)
If you a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife,
These are the things you don't say to your wife.