Key: G
Introduction:
G C D
Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end
G C D
The dress you wear reminds me of my old gir lfriend
Em D C G
And where'de you get those shoes i think there pretty lame
Em D C G
would you stop t alking 'cause im tr ying to watch the ga me
(Chorus)
Em G
If your a man who w ants to live
Em G
a long and happy life
Em D G
these are the things yo u don't say to your wife.
G C D
I planned a hunting trip next week on your b irthday
G C D
I didn't ask you but i knew i'de be ok
Em D C G
I taped it over our old w edding vid eo
(Chorus)
G C D
Your cooking is ok but not like mother mak es
G C D
The diamond in the ring i bought you is a fake
Em D C G
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill
Em D C G
Happy aniver sary i boug ht you a trea dmill
(Chorus)
Em GEm
If you a man who doesn't want to g et killed with a knife,
Em D G
These are the things you do n't say to your wife.