Unemployments rising In the Chigley end of town And it's speading like pneumonia; Doesn't look like going down. There's trouble at the fire station; Someone's had the sack. And the lads have organised a scheme To get rid of Captain Flack. Tell PC McGarry To get himself a mate. Someone get a message through To Captain Snort That they better start assembling The boys from the fort. Keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight, 'Cause there's gonna be riot Down in Trumpton Tonight. All this aristocracy Has really got to stop.