Key: E
Introduction: E A E E B7 E E A E E B7 E
E A E A E
I fancy I'll open a stationers, stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
A E B7 E
While you were out at the Rollright stones, I came and set fire to your shed
E
'Cos you probably work at an all night garage
A E
You probably work at an all night garage
B7 E
You probably work at an all night garage with talk radio on.
And you curse my soul if I don't want petrol
A E
Curse my soul 'cos I don't want petrol
B7 E
I only came down for a tube of Pringles, sour cream and chives.
E
And because you've got to get up off your fat arse to go and get my crisps
And you've got to go 'round the counter and it's really inconvenient
E
I'll have two scotch eggs and a jar of Marmite
A E
Two scotch eggs and a jar of Marmite
B7 E
Two scotch eggs and a jar of Marmite, what sandwiches have you got?
E
Well now you become quite irate and your voice becomes louder
And you start to sound like Leadbelly at the depot.
E
I'll have ten Kit-Kat's and a motoring atlas
A E
Ten Kit-Kat's and a motoring atlas
B7 E
And a blue CD on the Hallmark label - that's sure to be good.
E B7 E
Oh he went to play golf of a Sunday morn just a mile and a half from town
B7 E
His head was found on the driving range and his body has never been found.