The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick?
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
You're not going to heaven
Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to
You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do
(Pretty obvious just don't fucking rape people
Didn't think I had to write that one down for ya.)
I don't think masturbation is obscene
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
And boy, did that go well
You're not going to heaven
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
None of you are going to heaven
You're not my children, you're a bad game of sims
You shouldn't abstain from pork 'cause you think that I want you to
You can eat pork 'cause why the fuck would I give a shit?
I created the universe, think I'm drawing the line at the fuckin' deli aisle?)
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is true
But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven
knowing any day may be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
And when you earn it you won't need it
x2
I'm not gonna give you love just 'cause I know that you want me to
If you want love then the love has gotta come from you