I've got a snapshot of your Aunt Maureen
She's ninety and you're a teen
I'm trying to cheer you up
Don't be so mean, don't be so mean
Crach, bam, now you're looking good
Tip Top, now you're feeling good
Once more, here's your Aunt Maureen
Don't you feel good, don't you feel good
Tips For Teens, Tips For Teens, the kind you don't see in magazines
Tips For Teens, Tips For Teens, the kind you don't see on T.V. screens
Tips For Teens, Tips For Teens
Wake up to music and say you're too sick to go to work
Soon, you will lose all your zits
Don't eat that ice cream it is vanilla, give it to me
Don't eat that pastry what's in the middle, give it to me