You may have to rescue me from limestone quarries frequently
Those corporate stunt shows you attend - you'll never get asked back again.
Say, hello spinal curvature get used to the mirthless furniture
Now we've kissed I've written this list I thought you ought to know.
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries.
Well I'll not sit backwards on the train
I can't say I'll always flush the chain
And what I call pleasure you may call pain - I'm talking five day tests.
Prepare to lose your dignity as I ride to victory
Down the aisles at Tesco wearing nothing much at all.
Ancient pack horse bridges we'll avoid
Marajuana bores must be destroyed.
Bin men, thin men, lexicographers, squid yes not so octopus
Egg sandwiches on coach trips in June - I simply won't be there.
No way joke shop excrement, don't say the lightshow's excellent
It makes you smell of the laboratory instead of a fan of the band.
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries
Them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries, them's the vagaries.
Oh Brit Pop, turquoise, chips with apricot
Sheepskin noseband, kids in Aldershot
You point to finches in my yard and you ask "what's them things there?"
Them's the aviaries, them's the aviaries, them's the aviaries
Them's the aviaries and I've been saving these things just for you
For you, for you, for you.