I used to be a dead guy
Now I'm a fuckin' Jedi
And I've got lots of news for you
And I've got a long list of things to do
I used to dwell on the present
I used to be so Hesitant
But now I've got my whole life to live
And I've got all my love to give to all you fuckers that I hayayate
It's like the Gift of the Magi
It's like the Gift of the Magi 2!
You sold your soul to buy some tits
I sold my soul to grow a diiiiiiick
We've gotta get him in the van
What if he resists?
Kick him in the back of the fuckin' head
Put him in the back of the fuckin' Vayayayan
It's a miracle of science,
This portrayal of violence
It lives inside us all
it lives inside our hearts
Just like a stupid fucking tape wooooorm
Play into
The husband divorced his wife
after she cut her hair
because she was way less fuckable
And that's just unforgiveable
Moved into a condo
and hung out by the POOOL
He never wore a bathing suit
Because he wanted scope out the talent
If god doesn't like ugly
He does't like anybody
Fuck god anyway
He's osbsolete
My god thinks my jokes are funny
Intro
I am white and I've got everything I need.
No one clutches their purse when they're in a room alone with me
and I can drive through any neighborhood I please
at any hour and the police don't do a thing.
So if I see a penny on the ground,
I leave it alone or fucking flip it.
I'm a straight white male in America.
I've got all the luck I need.
I'm a guy getting paid more than a girl with a degree
and I can walk down the street at night and no one wants to rape me.
And I can get a girl pregnant and just as easily flee.
Just like my straight, white male dad did to me.
So if I see a penny on the ground,
I leave it alone or fucking flip it.
I'm a straight white male in America.
I've got all the luck I need.
I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders
and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.
Cus my skin and my gender and my orientation
are the best things to have when you live in this nation.
I recommend it highly.
So if I see a penny on the ground,
I leave it alone or fucking flip it.
I'm a straight white male in America.
I've got all the luck I need.
Shit's gonna work out for me.
I'm a straight white male in America.
I've got all the luck I need.
BackPack
Verse
You were dead by the time that I had found you.
Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed.
And I don't know what they did to your face.
And I don't like it.
Interlude
Verse
You lived large till the day they finally caught you.
Ending
You were dead by the time that I had found you.
Distance
The first month after you left I drank and jerked off till I slept.
I went to work when I had to then came home.
I fed the dog when I had to. I fed myself when I had to.
I went out of town when I had to. And then came home.
And I know this won't last forever
but god dammit it feels like forever since we've been together,
till we'll be together again.
intro
Second month after you left I still felt real depressed
but I've got plenty of other things to spend my time on.
I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist.
Sorry guys, here's a solo.
And it's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else.
I wish that I was someone closer to you.
And I know this won't last forever
but god dammit it feels like forever since we've been together,
till we'll be together again.
WHOO
Fucc the Devil
I'm gonna fuck the devil in his mouth.
I just need to listen to my sickness so I can learn how
and then train for a couple of weeks until I have all the skills I need.
The flask is an alcoholic's paintbrush.
The flask is an alcoholic's toothbrush.
I need to go throw up now.
I want to be the queen of belly rubs now.
I am gonna quit my job cus I've got another job
and I don't need to work two jobs.
I guess you could call me lucky.
I need to confront my own weakness.
Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest.
These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling
about this and I wanna go away for a while.
away for a while.
Because the things that I have seen are turning me into a shitty human being.
Hate Rain on Me
I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun
I'm sick of songs about the summer
And I hate everyone
Im gonna load my rifle gonna aim it at the dying star
I wanna live in a bubble
I need a getaway car
Hate, rain on me
Hate, rain on me
How can I be someone you love if you hate me
And how can I be someone you respect if you call me lazy
I gotta get out of my skin
but I dont know where to begin and right now
I feel worthless
and I feel crazy
Hate, rain on me
Hate, rain on me
I wanna put on my sweatpants
You know I'm trying to quit
I wanna give a shit again
I wanna put on my sweatpants
Dont you know Im trying to quit
I wanna give a shit again
Hate Rain On
Hate Rain On
Hate Rain On Me
Hate Rain On
Hate Rain On
Hate Rain On Me
If You Have Love in Your Heart
If you have love in your heart than who am I to judge you?
If you have love in your heart than no one will rise above you.
I'm a complicated man and I only wish that that were true.
If you have love in your heart than no one will rise above you.
In the new jack city.
In the new jack city.
No One
Who do you call on when you have no one.
Who do you call on when you have no one.
This might not be nice to say but I'll say it anyway.
When you have no one, you are no one.
I used to work at the people pound.
And it takes no one to know one.
Sad Song (Intermission)
They say ambition is an enemy of weakness.
And greatness is an enemy of fame.
When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song
I think of what my mentor used to say.
Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song.
Cause they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined.
Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs.
If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.
Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow
and sorrow is the best friend of my drink.
Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow
but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.
Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song.
See a counselor if you need to ease your troubled mind.
And can you please sit over there I don't want you crying in my beer.
Do you want some cheese with that whine?
There's a song that I keep trying to sing to no-one
but I'm afraid that it's too short or it's too long.
And to add to all the things that I'm afraid of,
the devil stopped sending me his songs.
And the troubles in my heart need to get let out.
And the troubles in my heart need to escape.
And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery.
And God knows that I never learned to paint.
So every now and then, I'll sing a sad song
'Cause it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean.
And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air.
'Cause I'm happy that you're happier than me.
I'm happy that you're happier than me.
I'm happy that you're happier than me.
Zombie by the Cranberries
If I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette
then I'd have enough cigarettes to get me through the day.
And if I had some spare change every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change
then I'd have enough spare change to take care of these bills I need to pay.
And dude I know that times are tough but that does not mean that you can have my stuff
So how about a ride? I can drive you to the shelter
We can eat dinner at the Andre house and you can even take a shower
Cause I think you deserve much more than a smoke and 50 cents
You deserve to be self-sufficient and buy your own cigarettes
Oh, when the saints, oh, when the saints, oh when the saints go marching in
They will feed you so much pizza that you'll forget about the rut that you are in
Oh, when the saints, Oh, when the saints, oh when the saints come marching in
Well I'm sure they'll feel so much better with the illusion
that they are helping out those sinners
when all they really do is buy those so called sinners shitty dinners
Like 5 dollar Hot and Ready pizzas and high fructose corn syrup punch
You diabetic and apathetic, wondering when they will bring you lunch
to the park they keep you in, when the saints go marching in
So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette
but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out
I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change
but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.
"People II 2: Still Peoplin'?"
If you've been kicked in or abused or mistreated or misused.
You were told there was nowhere to go but up for you.
If you've been hurt or you've been betrayed.
If you've been fucked or you've been displaced.
Then you were told it's probably been your fault anyway.
But your Hustler subscription or your Xanax prescription
Make you feel lonelier instead.
You don't want to hear about all the starving children.
You don't want to be told it's all in your head.
Cus if it's all in your head, that's terrible.
I saw a junkie laying in a puddle of his own blood last week,
You can by a Salad Glove and you can by an iPod.
And you can sell that shit to Bookmans
When your wife dies and you lose your job.
You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams
But hope is for presidents and
Dreams are for people who are sleeping.
My friend Erin says it best, "we're all two or three bad decisions away
From becoming the ones we fear and pity"
You don't have it any better
And you don't have it any worse.
You're an irreplaceable human soul
With your own understanding of
What it means to suffer.
And that's a hu-u-u-u-uge
Bummer.
Sorry Bro
15 songs, 15 shows, 15 pigs sucking at your tit.
How does it feel to live here? How does it feel to leave here?
15 notes, 15 notes, 15 dogs chewin' on your throat.
How does it feel to come home? I wish you had a home.
And you've got nothing I want but something I need.
You've got the elegance and the ability to breathe.
Traffic report: 15 dead.
A head on collision, at least that's what I thought I had read.
We're the kids in America, whoa oh.
We're the kids in America
15 days, you're back on track with fifteen ounces cut out of your
fucking back.
How does it feel to be you?
I do not envy you, dude.
And you've got nothing I like but something I love.
The charm and the skills to rise above.
You know how to be loved.
And you're as clean as a broke-dick dog.
I don't want to be like you but I'm still rooting for you.
I would hate to be like you but I'm still rooting for you.
I would hate to be like you but I'm still rooting for you.
I don't want to be like you but I'm still rooting for you.
You've got nothing I hate but got something I loathe.
You still walk around letting other people pick out your clothes.
And they will tell you when to go,
they'll tell you who to know-woah-woah-oh-oh-oh.
And they will tell you when to stop.
And then you'll stop.
Skate Park
There's a tongue in my mouth.
There's a lock on the door and I can't imagine wishing for more.
I've paid for my crimes and I've unlied my lies.
And now I'm adorned with a clever disguise.
I am free as a bird.
I'm free from my words.
There is a pill I've been meaning to swallow
and it's shaped like a record that I'd like to borrow
and covered in shit I've been meaning to wallow
and I don't know where I'll be tomorrow.
I'm free as a bird.
I'm free from my words.
I'm free as a bird flying over the sea.
Just can't find the summer.
If there's a God in the sky or a devil below.
That doesn't matter to me.
Cus I see Satan's face when I look in the mirror.
I see God inside of all of the people I meet.
I'm free as a bird.
I'm free from my words.
I'm free as a man who's out wandering the streets looking for shelter.
Big Bird
I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die.
And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind.
I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks.
I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.
But the big red bird that lives under the city
doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night.
By burning alive.
I'm afraid of my grandfathers cancer.
And I'm afraid of my mom's dying arm.
I'm afraid that I've somehow caused my family harm.
I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough.
I'm afraid that the ones I love won't have enough.
It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else.
I wish I were a little less of a coward
but the big red bird that lives under the city
doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night.
So I bought a knife.
I am a knife.