Tripod: If it is true that there's just six degrees of near,
Why am I so lonely?
I drift from town to town nomadically.
Gatesy: Nobody wants me, 'cause fame is so fickle,
If this town's a burger,
Tripod: Then I am the pickle.
Scod: It's about Kevin Bacon, by the way.
Yon: 'Cause I get thrown out of the town,
Yon: Like the burger, you know, sliding down the I'll leave that.
Tripod: Such a shame that I got arrested,
Gatesy: For wearing an obscene T-shirt.
All it said was, \"Kiss Me Then Pork Me\",
It's just 'cause my name is
Tripod: Kevin Baco___n,
Gatesy: Bacon - pork get it?
Tripod: But they didn't get it and I'm sittin' here in gaol,
Doin' the hand-spider movement.
Yon: People who weren't at this gig will never get this joke get over it.
Tripod: I had to bunk up with a former politician,
Gatesy: I use that term rather liberally.
Then Pauline busted some rhymes for me.
Gatesy: (Rapping) You feelin' like you failed,
Tripod: Kevin Bacon,
Kevin Bacon.
It's a joke I'm makin'
Gatesy: Get it?
Tripod: So I jumped on the thing that looked just like a camel,
Mixed with a deer or a pony.
I rode off into the sunset with my alpaca,
I was no longer alone-y.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh
It's such a shame that I got arrested,
For wearing an obscene T-shirt.
All it said was, \"Kiss Me Then Pork Me\",
Gatesy: It's just 'cause my name is
Tripod: Kevin Bacon,
I'm not fakin',
Gatesy: I'm making a statemen',
I'm Kevin Bacon!