Tower block, you couldn't score in a tower block
Do you wash plates down the WI?
Went down town, down town, saw you pasteling the precinct floor
Had no qualms but I complained anyway.
'Cos I'm the big cheese down at the Tourist Information
I work out of Barmouth where the bathing is safe
Dropkick the improv workshop mimeshow gobshite
Out on to the sandbank and then send in the clowns.
We must do brunch sometime, that place by Pineapple
Cats, Phantom, Starlight, Les
It's the cohorts from the dance class
And they haven't paid their domino fees.
How many of yous lot know that song by Blackfoot Sue
"I'm Standing In The Road"
Was penned by the burly physio of non-league Farnborough Tow-w-w-w-n?
Big cheese down at the Tourist Information
Come forth with your queries and I'll wade out for miles.
Never trust a Crown Green bowler under thirty
The future's so dull I've gotta sing torch songs.
Ah dropkick the improv workshop mimeshow gobshite
Cokeheads, cokeheads, cokeheads.