Bestiality may be a fun thing to do
But I have to a warning to say unto you:
With almost all animals, you’ll have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing
Or roger a rhino if you’re ready for bruising,
Or mountin' a mountain goat (careful, don't fall!)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
A lion is frisky, a leopard is fun,
If you choose the cheetah you may have to run.
You can fondle the fleas at the flea-market stall,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The stickles and prickles will maul and appall
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can hump a baboon if it doesn't hump you
And a wildebeest's really got something quite gnu
Carouse with a louse if your weenie is small
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
If you meet Nanny Ogg just remember to thank her
For warning all wayfarers waylaid in Lancre.
And remember to caution your poor foreign guest
Il Porcupino Nil Sodomy Est!
You can bugger a bat if you hang upside down,
You can hump with a whale but there's a chance you might drown,
You can try with a dragon but the risk is not small
Oh, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The quills on his back are so awfully thick
They’ll poke perforations all over your prick.
There’s nowhere to aim when he’s curled in a ball
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can root with a wombat right here in Australia
But don’t be alarmed by our odd mammalia
You didn’t think our beasts would be friendly didya?
You’ve never know pain till you’ve shagged an echidna.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.