Right now you are down and out
and feeling really crappy
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me Happy!
Sorry, Buddy, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.
D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls
Straight-A students getting Bs?
Exes getting STDs!
Waking doormen from their naps!
Watching tourists reading maps!
Football players getting tackled!
CEOs getting shackled!
Watching actors never reach
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!