Key: B
D
C
Please leave all overcoats, canes and tophats
F
with the doorman. From that moment
B
you'll be by yourself and underdressed.
A
I'm wrecking this evening already and
B
loving every minute of it.
C
B
A
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring end.
D
(hammer/palm
When you're in black slacks with accentuating off white
C
B
A
pinstripes, whoa oh. Everything goes
A
G
F
D
A cord ing to plan.
D
C
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
F
B
you can't stand it.
B
And you say so under your breath
A
you're reading lips "when did he get all confident?"
*Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
B
A
{X}
{VERSE 2}
*Next is a trip to the the ladies' room in vain and,
D
C
Talk to the mirror. Oh, choke back tears!
*"I'm a diva."
D
C
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box
F
B
on the table they just so happened to be
B
A
B
A
laced with ni tro gly ce rin
{Repeat: "I'm the new cancer"}
D
C
F
B
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer
B
A
D
I've never looked better and you can't stand it.
{OUTRO}
D
C
And i know, and i know, it just doesn't feel like
F
B
a night out with no one sizing you up.
B
A
I've never been so surreptitious so of course
D
I'll be distracted when I spike the punch.