Chords
There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet

Key: C

Introduction:

 Em 
  Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
         C 
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed.
         G 
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
 C                                                     B7 
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...
 Em                                                                         D 
  Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
         G                                                                   C 
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed.
         Am                                                               B 
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
 C                                                       D 
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...
                         Em                                                                                       Am 
When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes
             C                   B7                               Em 
Whoa, everything goes according to plan.
 C                                       B                                       Em               G 
I am the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it.
                         G 
Because you say so under your breath.
                                 B7 
You're reading lips "when did he get at all confident?"
 C                       B             Em                       G 
Haven't you heard that i'm the new cancer?
   G                                   B7                                             B  C  B  C 
Never looked better, and you can't stand it
 Em 
  Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and
   C 
I bet you just can't keep up (keep up) with these fashionistas, and
 G 
  Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign.
 C                                                                   B7 
  I bet to them your name is "cheap", I bet to them you look like shit.
 Em                                           D 
  Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.
                   G                                           C 
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"
   Am                                             B                                       C 
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table,
                           D                       C         B       B7 
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.
I am the new cancer, never looked better...

 Em                       D               G                         C 
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
                                         B                 Em 
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it         2x
                 Em                                             D                                               G                                                   C 
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
                                                   B                                                                   Em 
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when i spike the punch. 3x