Key: D
Introduction: D G A
D
When I'm watching TV,
G A
The girls are all I see,
D
They're singing and dancing and acting and modelling,
G A
None of them would look at me.
D
If I went to Jessica Simpson,
G A
She'd think I was an ignoramus,
D
And if I tried to talk to Cameron Diaz,
G A
She'd say "get lost boy, I'm famous!"
D
All the women 'round here,
G A
Have BO or they have rolls,
D
and some lucky bloke right now,
G A
is probably hugging Beyonce Knowles.
Pre-Chorus
G
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
A
I'd call her right up,
G A D
and I'd ask her what she's doing at half past three,
G A D
and then I'd ask her if she'd marry me,
G
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
A
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world,
G A D
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe,
G A D
And then some dick would try to steal her purse,
G7M
So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone and I'd say,
A
"Hey mister, leave Jessie alone!"
G A D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
G A D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
G A D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
G A D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
D
Fit girls getting shot in films,
G A
I'm always into ya'z,
D
I'd like to go see Toy Story 2,
G A
With just me and Britney Spears,
D
And then she'd say "Hit me baby one more time" and I'd say,
G A
"No way Britney, Domestic Violence is a crime",
D
I like the one from Showgirls,
G A
When she's dancing 'round those poles,
D
Or the really, really fit one,
G A
Who sings in the Pussycat Dolls.
D
I've nearly got a moustache,
Bm7(11) A
And they still wouldnt talk to me,
D
Kate Winslet naked in Titanic,
G A
Or the lesbian from the OC.
Play Pre-Chorus
G A D
If I had Jennifer Lopez's number,
G A D
Or Kate Nash's Number,
G A D
Or the girl who was in Transformers' number,
G A D C Bm7 A7 G Asus4A G5 D
Or Jessica Alba's number...
Done. Cheers. please commy and rate