Key: C
Introduction: C Am F G
C Am
I was walking with my buddies,
F G
And saw a few hot chicks,
C Am
But, I wasnt interested in them,
F G
No, they werent the finest picks,
C Am
But, then you caught my attention,
F G
From the window of the old folks place,
C Am
Right away I knew I was in love,
F G
When I saw the wrinkles on your face,
F G
I came inside to meet you,
C Em Am
And you hobbled right through the door,
G
With your walker,
C Am F G
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am
I love it that your pubes are grey,
F G
And your boobs sag to the floor,
C Em
Every time I take out your dentures,
F G
I know whats in store,
C Am
Its time to clean your dentures,
F G C
Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am
Young girls dont turn me on,
F G
Experience is a must,
C Am
Especially when youre 4 foot 8,
F G
And your vagina collects dust,
C Am
When we get to kissin,
F G
You wheeze as I get hyper,
C Am
And I love it when you pluck your whiskers,
F G
As I take off your diaper,
F G
You ask me to change you,
C Em Am
But, baby, that all depends,
G
Pun intended,
C Am F G
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am
I love it when your knees give out,
F G
And you fall straight to the floor,
C Em
Every time I spank that ass,
F G
You poop in your drawers,
C Am
But I dont care at all,
F G C
Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am
Many nights, well just stay in,
F G
Well eat applesauce and well watch porn,
C Am
As I massage your hunchback,
F G
And nibble on your corns,
C Am
Your bones are a creakin,
F G
And your arm flab gets me hard,
C Am
But then the Alzheimers kicks in,
F G
And you dont know where the hell you are,
F G
During sex you love it,
C Em Am
When I whisper in your hearing aid,
G
I love you, Ethel,
C Am F G
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
C Am F G
I love it when you call 9-1-1 when you get lost in the grocery store,
C Em Am G
And I dont mind you gave Stonewall Jackson a handjob during the Civil War,
C Am F
Cause Im so damn in love with my beautiful,
G C
80 year-old whore