The most chivalrous fish of the ocean
To ladies forebearing and mild
Though his record be dark
Is the man-eating shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child.
Verse: 2
He dines upon seamen and skippers,
And tourists his hunger assuage,
And a fresh cabin boy
Will inspire him with joy
If he's past the maturity age.
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A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,
He'll gobble one any fine day
But the ladies, God bless 'em,
He'll only address 'em
Politely and go on his way.
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I can readily cite you an instance
Where a lovely young lady of Breem,
Who was tender and sweet
And delicious to eat,
Fell into the bay with a scream.
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She struggled and flounced in the water
And signaled in vain for her bark,
And she'd surely been drowned
If she hadn't been found
By a chivalrous man-eating shark.
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He bowed in a manner most polished,
Thus soothing her impulses wild;
Don't be frightened," he said,
"I've been properly bred
And will eat neither woman nor child."
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Then he proffered his fin and she took it?
Such a gallantry none can dispute?
While the passengers cheered as the
Vessel they neared
And a broadside was fired in salute.
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And they stood alongside the vessel,
When a life-saving dinghy was lowered
With the pick of the crew,
And her relatives, too
And the mate and the skipper aboard.
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So they took her aboard in a jiffy,
And the shark stood at attention the while,
Then he raised on his flipper
And ate up the skipper
And went on his way with a smile.
Verse: 10
And this shows that the prince of the ocean,
To ladies forebearing and mild,
Though his record be dark,
He's the man-eating shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child.