Since I moved into your place,
one year ago today,
our relationship has deepened,
in a spiritual way.
As time swept gently forward,
And winter turned to spring,
I know you so much better,
because I fucked all your things.
I put my package in your mailbox,
made love to all your chairs,
dropped a load inside your washer,
Went down on all your stairs
I took your cabinets from the front end,
your sofa from behind,
I looked deep into your vacuum's eyes,
and then we sixty-nined!
Thanks in advance
for not judging me, or
this aspect of my soul.
When I dick-smash all
of your belongings,
is when I'm finally whole.
(Intro)
I boned your
couches and your telephone, and all your scented candles
and your dictionary, fishtank, and the pictures on the mantle.
I had sex with your whole kitchen, with no boundaries and no limits,
and your lamp was looking so good, that you know I had to hit it.
Your wallet and your toothbrush, and your jacket and your red hat.
Are you mad about the toothbrush? Just forget I ever said that.
Your carpet and your furniture, your windows and the curtains,
and I licked your stamp collection.
(N.C)
I'm glad I got this
off my chest.
My soul has taken flight.
Don't slam the door on your way out
darling,
Because I'm slamming it tonight.