In the boarding house I lived in
Everything was growing old
Silver threads among the butter
And the cheese was green with mold
When the dog died we had sausages
When the cat died catnip tea
When the landlord died I left there
Spare ribs were too much for me
Oh my dear Missus Crandall
I think I like you a lot
I lived in your house quiet as a mouse
Some day you'll be caught
verse 2
Well girls can never change their nature
It is quite beyond their reach
Missus Crandall is a lemon
She can never be a peach
But the law of compensation
Is the one I always preach
You can always squeeze a lemon
Have you tried to squeeze a peach
Oh my dear Missus Crandall
I think I like you a lot
I lived in your house quiet as a mouse
Some day you'll be caught
verse 3
The train was standing at the station
I was rushing full of care
When I tripped on her cat and I stumbled
And fell headlong down the stairs
Missus Crandall came up to me
"Did you miss a step, me son"
"No," I says, "me dear landlady
I hit every bloomin' one"
Oh my dear Missus Crandall
I think I like you a lot
I lived in your house quiet as a mouse
Some day you'll be caught
Fade