Well when I was a kid I'd take a trip
Every summer down to Mississipp'
To visit my granny and her antebellum world
I'd run barefooted all day long
Climbin' trees free as a song
One day I happened to catch myself a squirrel
Well I stuffed him down in an old shoe box
And punched a couple of holes in the top
And when sunday came I snuck him into church
I was sittin' way back in the very last pew
Showin' him to my good buddy hugh
When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk
Well what happened next is hard to tell
Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell
But the fact that something was among us was plain to
see
As the choir sang "I surrender all"
The squirrel ran up Harve Newman's cover-alls
And Harve leaped to his feet and said
"Something's got a hold on me" YEOW!!
CHORUS
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pastagoola
(Pastagoola)
It was a fight for survival
That broke out in revival
They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' hallelujah
(halleluja)
Well Harve hit the aisles a-dancin' and screamin'
Some thought he had religion others thought he had a
demon
And Harve thought he had a weed eater loose in his
fruit of the looms
He fell to his knees to plead and beg
And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg
Unobserved to the other side of the room
All the way down to the Amen pew
Where sat Sister Bertha-Better-Than-You
Who'd been watching all the commotion with sadistic
glee
Well you should'a seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her
thighs
She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on
me"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame
She told of gossip and church disention
But the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life
And then she started namin' names
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved
And twenty five thousand dollars got raised
And fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo - on
the spot
And even without an invitation
There were at least five hundred re-dedications
And we all got re-baptised whether we needed it or not
Now you've heard the Bible story I guess
How he parted the waters for Moses to pass
Oh the miracles God has wrought in this old world
But the one I'll remember 'til my dying day
Is how he put that church back on the narrow way
With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel