Mean Mr Mustard sleeps in the park
Shaves in the dark, trying to save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Saving up to buy some clothes
Keeps a ten bob note up his nose
Such a mean old man, such a mean old man
His sister Pam works in a shop
She never stops she's a go-getter
Takes him out to look at the Queen
Only place that he's ever been
Always shouts out something obscene
Such a dirty old man, dirty old man