Yon: That's one!
Gatesy: Do you believe in love? Well, Willie Shakespeare had something to say about it.
Tripod: I worked hard to be a star,
Who do these young folks think they are?
If Nicole Kidman can sing,
I can do Shakespeare.
Yon: I can see myself standing on a battlement,
Wearing a
Tripod: conical bra.
Yon: Eight muscle men surround me as I descend the stairs,
And play Henry I Vee.
Scod: And when I read the morning news,
Y & G: And when I read the morning news,
Scod: My show will open to reviews.
Tripod: I worked hard to be a star,
Who do these young folks think they are?
If Nicole Kidman can sing,
I can do Shakespeare.
Gatesy: Then I'll break new ground - the first white female,
To play
Tripod: the role of Othello.
Gatesy: I could add a plot point involving an antique shotgun,
And a diamond heist.
Scod: Full of Cockneys for effect,
Y & G: Full of Cockneys for effect,
Scod: Just so my husband can direct.
Tripod: Oh, Gu___y, will you direct my play for me?
You'll be perfect for the bard-man.
As lo___ng as it involves an antique shotgun,
And Vinnie Jones as a hard man.
Yon: We'll be laughing all the way to the Banquo
(tacet)
Picture Macbeth hitchhiking, with a dagger in one hand,
And his arse in the other.
Scod: A documentary, just for truth,
Y & G: A documentary, just for truth,
Scod: And now I have to say \"forsooth\".
Yon: (In the background) Forsooth forsooth forsooth forsooth
Yon: Forsooth forsooth
Yon: Forsooth forsooth that's eleven.
Yon: One, two, three, four-sooth