I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go, did go wrong
so if i'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
Started as a fart in bed well it started as a fart but I shit myself instead
And the fucking misses going off her fucking head
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
and running to the dunny like a bastard trying to hold it in with me finger up me arse
skidding past the kids and them little cunts laughing
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go, did go wrong
so if i'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
No hot water had to take a cold shower
scrubbing shit from every orifice took a fucking hour
then fuck fuck fuck no fucking towels
had an absolute cunt of a day
pulling on me jeans and tripped
busted me nose and split me fucking lip
got me cock caught in me fucking zip
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go, did go wrong
so if i'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
then driving me self to the docs
packet of tissues wrapped around me cock
not a good time to get stopped by the cops
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
the bastards didn't even let me explain
just cuffed me up and pulled me off to jail no fucking phone call, no fucking bail!
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
I've had an absolute cunt of a day
Everything that could go, did go wrong
so if i'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
so your honor that's how it is that's exactly how it started and how it ended all up here,
and you bastards laugh and ain't making it too easy
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
and i'm in too much fucking pain to plead
and i don't give a fuck if you don't believe me
just take me out the back and fucking shoot me please!
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
everything that could go did go wrong,
so if i'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song iv'e had an absolute cunt of a day
iv'e had an absolute cunt of a, just another one of them, iv'e had an absolute cunt of a days