When I woke up this mornin', things were lookin' bad
seemed like total silence was the only friend I had
a bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won
and it was twelve o'clock before I realized that I was havin' no fun
Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
and you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
it don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
no I was just tryin' to have me some fun
last time I checked my bankroll, well it was gettin' thin
sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been
chased a rainbow down a one-way street dead end
and all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
and you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
it don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
no I was just tryin' to have me some fun
Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
just tryin' to get away from all the ears inside the walls
dreamed the police heard everything I thought what then?
well I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman
Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
and you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
it don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
no I was just tryin' to have me some fun (well done, hot-dog bun, my sister's a nun)