VERSE 1
Who's that waddlin' down the street?
It's just me 'cause I love to eat
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham.
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am!
Every picture of me's gotta be an aerial view.
Now my doctor tells me there's just one thing left to do:
CHORUS 1
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) throw out the pizza and beer.
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) get those jelly donuts out of here.
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) it might seem a little severe.
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear.
RIFF
Blow, fatty!
VERSE 2
Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce;
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss.
Walked down an alley and I got stuck.
I got more rolls than a pastry truck.
When I'm all done eating, I eat a little more.
When I leave a room first I gotta grease the door.
CHORUS 2
Grapefruit Diet; (Diet!) can't have another eclair.
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) I gotta decrease my derriere.
BREAK
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet!
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet!
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet!
VERSE 3
No more pie now. No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy and souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now. No ice cream parfait.
Mr. Cheese Nacho; stay away.
Oh I think I'd sell my soul for a triple patty melt,
But I need a boomerang when I put on my belt.
CHORUS 3
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) lay off the 3 Musketeers.
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) until my big booty disappears.
Grapefruit Diet; (Diet!) I'll eat 'em till they're comin' out of my ears.
Grapefruit Diet, (Diet!) 'cause I haven't seen my feet in years
BREAK
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet!
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet!
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet!
OUTRO
I think I'm about ready for a quarter pounder with extra cheese.
I need a side order of onion rings and oh, don't forget to super-size that.