Be courteous, kind, and forgiving
Be gentle and peaceful each day
Be warm and human and grateful
And have a good thing to say
Be thoughtful and trustful and optimistic
Be witty and happy and wise
Be honest and love all your neighbors
Live in a swamp and be three dimension
Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant
Be sure to stop at stop signs
And drive fifty-five miles an hour
Pick up hitchhikers foaming at the mouth
And when you get home get a master's degree in geology
Be pompous, obtuse and eat cactus
Be dull and boring and omnipresent
Look forward to things you don't know about
Put a live chicken in your underwear
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival
(Ladies only) Never make love to Bigfoot
(Men only) Hello, my name is Bigfoot
(Everyone) Put a live chicken in your underwear