A used pink bathrobe
A rare mint snowglobe
A Smurf TV tray
I bought on eBay
My house is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay
Tell me why I need another pet rock
Tell me why I got that Alf alarm clock
Tell me why I bid on Shatner's old toupee
They had it on eBay
I'll buy your knick-knack
Just check my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay
Gonna buy a slightly-damaged golf bag
Gonna buy some Beanie Babies, new with tag
From some guy, I've never met, in Norway
Found him on eBay
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got PayPal or Visa
What ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough
I'll buy your tchotchkes
Sell me your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy)
I'm highest bidder now
Junk keeps arriving in the mail
From that worldwide garage sale (A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray)
Hey! A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray
I bought it on eBay
Wanna buy a PacMan Fever lunchbox
Wanna buy a case of vintage tube socks
Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre (used by Dr. Dre)
Found it on eBay
Wanna buy that Farrah Fawcett poster
Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don't know why, the kind of stuff you'd throw away
I'll buy on eBay
What I bought on eBay