I went down division five local RCMP to file a missing persons report
Well, they looked me up and down then their eyes went to the ground,
They burst out laughing and they showed me the door
I showed the officer my tears said, "I ain't seen her in years."
And he said, "Son, do you know where it is she's at?"
I said, "I'm pretty sure I do, at least the province and the town
But she swears that she ain't never coming back."
And he said, "Brothеr that's the deal sometimеs it's over and done for real
There ain't a goddamn thing the Mounties can do
We get folks speeding in their cars getting way too drunk in bars
But I got just the thing for a sad sack like you.
I got just the thing for a sad sack like you."
He pulled out a prewar Double O, wired up in stainless steel
Aimed it at my heart and took a breath
"You sure you're ready for the truth because that's the ammo that I use."
I said, "I am," and raise my hands and dropped my head
And he sang, "Brother, that's the deal, sometimes it's over and done for real
There ain't a goddamn thing the Mounties can do
We get folks speeding in their cars getting way too drunk in bars
But I got just the thing for a sad sack like you.
I got just the thing for a sad sack like you."
I went down division five local RCMP to file a missing persons report
Well, they looked me up and down then their eyes went to the ground
They burst out laughing and they showed me the door
Said, “We ain't never seen nobody so lost before.”