Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man, the kind of man you'd never disrespect
He stood 8 foot tall, wore glasses, and he had a third nipple on the back of his neck
He ate his own weight in coal, and excreted diamonds every day
He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anyway
Yeah, you know you'd love him anyway
Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missin' chain
He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm tellin' you the man was insane
He could rip out your beatin' heart and show it to you right before you died
Every day he'd make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback ride,
Yeah! a two-hour piggyback ride, Giddyup Gene!
A Ninja Warrior Master Of Disguise, he could melt your brain with his laser beam eyes, Oh yeah, Oh yeah
He had his very own line at the DMV, he made sweet, sweet love to a manatee, Oh yeah
Charles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippings as a potent aphrodisiac
He ran a four minute mile blindfolded with an engine block strapped to his back
He could eat more frozen waffles than any other man I know
Once he fell off the Chrysler building and he barely even stubbed his toe
Had a tiny little scratch on his toe, didn't even hurt!
Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soul
I've seen the man unhinge his jaw and swallow a Volkswagen whole
He'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a star
Cause you can spit in the wind or tug on Superman's cape, but lord knows you just don't mess around with CNR!
No No No!
Talkin' 'bout CNR!
Ohhhh!
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