I was walking with my buddies,
And saw a few hot chicks,
But, I wasnt interested in them,
No, they werent the finest picks,
But, then you caught my attention,
From the window of the old folks place,
Right away I knew I was in love,
When I saw the wrinkles on your face,
I came inside to meet you,
And you hobbled right through the door,
With your walker,
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
I love it that your pubes are grey,
And your boobs sag to the floor,
Every time I take out your dentures,
I know whats in store,
Its time to clean your dentures,
Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
Young girls dont turn me on,
Experience is a must,
Especially when youre 4 foot 8,
And your vagina collects dust,
When we get to kissin,
You wheeze as I get hyper,
And I love it when you pluck your whiskers,
As I take off your diaper,
You ask me to change you,
But, baby, that all depends,
Pun intended,
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
I love it when your knees give out,
And you fall straight to the floor,
Every time I spank that ass,
You poop in your drawers,
But I dont care at all,
Cause youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
Many nights, well just stay in,
Well eat applesauce and well watch porn,
As I massage your hunchback,
And nibble on your corns,
Your bones are a creakin,
And your arm flab gets me hard,
But then the Alzheimers kicks in,
And you dont know where the hell you are,
During sex you love it,
When I whisper in your hearing aid,
I love you, Ethel,
Youre my beautiful, 80 year-old whore,
I love it when you call 9-1-1 when you get lost in the grocery store,
And I dont mind you gave Stonewall Jackson a handjob during the Civil War,
Cause Im so damn in love with my beautiful,
80 year-old whore