Well my buddy Scotty
He was feeling kinda down
A fork tongued woman
Done run him in the ground
I took him to the bar
We were scoping the room
Verse
We spotted a couple girls
And said hey y'all
One was a fox
The other was a dog
So I said Scotty boy
Here's what I'm willin' to do
I'll take the ugly one
The one who looks
Just like Atilla the Hun
That drug store perm
And them long red hairs on her chin
I'll be glad to take
One for the team
I'm pretty sure you'd
Do the same for me
Yeah I'll take the ugly one brother
Ain't I a damn good friend
Verse
Then Scotty said Ray man
We can find two more
That homely thing looks like
She could chew through a door
I'd never expect you to go
And do such an unselfish deed
Verse
I said nonsense brother
You need to see what its like
To get your world rocked
By that sweet thing tonight
I'll chat up her sidekick there
Don't you worry bout me
I'll take the ugly one
somebodys daughter's
Looking more like a son
How'd she squeeze that behind
In them high waisted Wal-Mart jeans
I bet shes rocking
Granny panties tonight
Lord I hope nobody
Turns on the lights
Yeah I'll take the ugly one brother
Aw but buddy you gonna owe me
Bridge
Well it turns out old rover's
Pretty BFF was having
Herself a pretty bad day
And I heard that
Ugly thing whisper to her
She rolled her eyes my way
N.C.
I'll take the ugly one
You get with scotty there
Y'all have fun
I'll see how long I can stand
This neanderthal man
Girl he ain't no Brad Pitt
I better get to
Drinking heavier now
Won't have to kiss the fool
If I pass out
Yeah I'll take the ugly one girl
Aw but you better remember this
Outro
Ouch
Well I reckon thats what I get
For being a jackass