This is what you give me to work with?
Well, honey, I've seen worse
We're going to turn this sow's ear
into a silk purse
verse 1
We'll have you washed and dried
Primped and polished
till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for instant bride
You'll bring honor to us all
verse 2
Wait and see
When we're through
Boys will gladly go to war for you
With good fortune
And a great hairdo
You'll bring honor to us all
Bridge 1
A girl can bring her family
great honor in one way
By striking a good match
And this could be the day
verse 3
Men want girls with good taste
Calm, obedient
Who work fast-paced
With good breeding
And a tiny waist
You'll bring honor to us all
Bridge 2
We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl by bearing sons
verse 4
When we're through
You can't fail
Like a lotus blossom
Soft and pale
How could any fellow
Say "No Sale"
You'll bring honor to us all
Interlude
Beads of jade for beauty
You must proudly show it
Now add a cricket just for luck
And even you can't blow it
Verse 5
Ancestors
Hear my plea
Help me not to make a
fool of me
And to not uproot
my family tree
Keep my father standing tall
Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting our matchmaker
Verse 6
Destiny
Guard our girls
And our future
as it fast unfurls
Please look kindly on
these cultured pearls
Each a perfect porcelain doll
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us
Please bring honor to us all