Santa kissed me under the mistletoe
Tasted like egg nog and it was gross
Said he was lonely and it had been
a while The elves run frantic when
they see that look in his eyes
He sat me down and went on and
on Wouldn't shut up about how
Mrs. Claus had gone He said the
plumber must've done something
right He fixed her pipes then
she paid him back all
Through the night
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Santa kissed me under the mistletoe
I kept wondering how far this would
go We talked and drank until it was
light Then the bartender kicked us
out cause we got into a fight
But I kept thinking of the swag
for free Besides the old geezer
needs some company Well I've
been broke this year it wouldn't
be so bad I hate to admit
it but he's the best I've
Ever had
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Santa kissed me and I kissed him
back but I did it for the toys
Figured I could get something
more than I did from other boys
Santa kissed me and I kissed
him back but I did it for
the toys Smiled at me and
wanted to see if I would
Guitar Solo
Drumbeats
Well he's a pervert you
can tell by his smile
Or check the NAMBLA
membership locked
in his files That big
red suit and jolly face
is a disguise He only does
it for the joys of little
kids bouncing on his thighs
He drives me crazy now
he calls me all the time
I'm gonna dump him as soon
as I get what's mine Guess
I should really reveal my
family ties He won't get
a clue so I hit him
with a matzo ball
Right between
Chorus 4
The eyes
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la
Fa la la la la
Santa kissed me and I kissed him
back but I did it for the toys
Figured I could get something
more than I did from other boys
Santa kissed me and I kissed
him back but I did it for
the toys Smiled at me and
wanted to see if I would
Santa kissed me and I kissed him
back but I did it for the toys
Figured I could get something
more than I did from other boys
Santa kissed me and I kissed
him back but I did it for
the toys Smiled at me and
wanted to see if I would
what a loser!