Way back when
I was just ten
Everywhere
Fellas would stare
Out on the street
And I felt used
Kinda confused
I would refuse to look in their eyes
But now I really love creepy old guys!
We all do!
Gum disease
Skin like grilled cheese
It's cute and vile
Hey baby, smile!
To each girl that passes!
(Wolf-whistling)
They make me blush!
Can't get enough!
Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine!
That's right!
Marrying my own creepy old guy!
I'm a creepy old guy!
My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy
I'm so happy I could cry!
Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy!
My creepy old groom!
Creepy old groom!
Play that wedding tune
Hey folks, step aside!
I am older, but I'm glad I waited!
'Cuz here comes the bride!
I am marrying my creepy old guy
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy
My creepy old guy!
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!
Fix his hair
Get him prepared
Sure, the groom
Crawled out of a tomb
But hey, hey, it's a wedding!
So dim the lights
Pick up some rice
Say something nice!
It's my day to shine
I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy!
It's showtime!
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy
She's marrying a creepy old guy!
Have you guys seen Lolita?
This is just like that, but fine!
Creepy old dude, creepy old dude
Our faith has been renewed
Now love is alive!
Wave your baby girl goodbye
I am walking down the aisle
I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by
I know that on the outside he's disgusting
And even on the inside, he's disgusting
But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right
Making it right, making it right!
With my family by my side
O-M-G
Dressed to a T
Fancy and formal
I found me a wife
L'chaim! To life!
This is so normal!
I was ignored
But now, I'm adored!
'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied
Give it up for my underage bride!
Here comes the bride
Here comes the bride
God be glorified!
I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright
My creepy old guy
My creepy old guy
Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?
oh, yeah, that's right!
Yeah, that's right!
Let's make him alive!
I am marrying my creepy old guy!
Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy!
Guy, guy!
I have chills!
Yeeeeeeeeah!