I'm way too skinny for the Army?
Way too slender for the job?
What can I do if my country doesn't want me cause
My talents only stretch to mini golf?
I'm way too uncool for the Army
All that running through car tyres
I guess that would come in handy if you invaded
A country whose terrain was all car tyres.
Chorus:(clean)
But I'm skinny and unclever
Maybe now more than ever
The technology has caught up with me
If wars have gone all electronic
I could fight them with my joystick
As long as they bring pizza to me
Then I could be in the Army.
It's not tricky to imagine
Me in a bunker at a screen
Controlling reconaisance robots
Maybe mine detecting robots
Even robots who run through tyres
But I'm skinny and unclever
Maybe now more than ever
The technology has caught up with me
If wars have gone all electronic
I could fight them with my joystick
While watching McLeod's Daughters on TV
Then I could be in the Army.
I was never good at Pacman
But at Defender I'd light up the skies
I was never good at Frogger
It's much to much like hopping all the tyres
And if I don't get in the Army
I could become an evil mastermind
Live in an underwater tower
And wearing shiny skivvies all the time
That would be fine
Skinny and unclever
Maybe now more than ever
The technology has caught up with me, (If I could make up my mind)
If wars have gone all electronic
I could fight them with my joystick
As long as they bring pizza to me