Lyrics of
The Blank Husband Epidemic

my auntie eleanor had a very unhappy husband
who hated his job and hated his life
so he wanted to drive his tan Chevy
off of a bridge because he hated his car and he hated his life
he couldn't silence the ever present thought
"i'm doing all I can yet i'm an unsuccessful man"
and his heart was blank
don't we know what blank people are good for
what they are good for
my auntie eleanor had a very unhappy husband
who just couldn't escape or catch a break
so he wanted to ride his bike blindfolded into traffic
because he hated his bike and he hated his life
his heart was consumed with guilt from the knowledge
he had not become a successful man he was an unsuccessful man
and his heart was blank
don't we know what blank people are good for
what they are good for
until one day my Auntie introduced him to her friend named gwendoline
and she must have made a stunning first impression
because he left my Auntie and never came back again leaving with gwendoline
but my Auntie didn't care
she knew she could find another blank husband anywhere
by god they're everywhere
my auntie eleanor had a very unhappy husband