Dear Mavis I'm compelled to write this letter
In the hope that you will soon be feeling better
I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor
If you haven't then you know you really oughta
I was worried so I went to see the vicar but before I could confess
He did confess to be a stripper
Dear Mavis it was very strange to see him so I thought I'd write and ask for your opinion
Should I grass on him report him to the cardinal
Or whether I should egg him on to turn professional
If I dob on him they'll call him plastic scouser
But the only thing the stripper vicar wears (is plastic trousers)
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek Mavis' opinion is all we really
Should we lie, while he's still alive should we lie, while he's still alive
Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it
Dear Mavis I thought I'd follow up my letter drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar
Very tragically his time on earth has ended found him hanging in his stockings and suspender
Dear Mavis if you tell us what your thoughts are and I hope they're not biased
(Cos you are the vicars daughter)
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek Mavis' opinion is all we really
Should we lie, while he's still alive should we lie, while he's still alive
And we know him as our vicar and by night a part time stripper
And he's making wine from water while he dresses like his daughter
And we know that he's a rip off cos we've seen him with his kit off
Should we lie, while he's still alive should we lie, while he's still alive
Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it