Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass
And there's no way you're gonna slow it down
You say we gotta treasure each moment
Who knows how long we're gonna be around
Yeah you keep on telling me life is short
And it's hard to disagree with what you say
But if time is so precious, why ya wasting mine
Cause I'm always reading, Always deleting
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way
Every stupid hoax
All those corny jokes
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Well I don't need tons of cringe inducing puns
Stop forwarding that crap to me
No it isn't ok if you brighten my day
With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry
And I didn't request a personality test
Stop forwarding - that crap to me
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
You're sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments
to every single person you know
You're passing round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube
That everybody else already saw three years ago
And wacky badly Photoshopped billboards
were never that amusing to me
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes someone will point you toward Snopes
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly
No I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Send more top 10 lists and I'll slash my wrists
Please stop forwarding that crap to me
Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant
And I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
Won't you kindly refrain, cause it's hurting my brain
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat
Now tell me in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?
And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin
Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing
And I highly doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me
If I don't pass your letter along
Well now I know you're wishing
I'll sign your petition
But stop forwarding that crap to me
And I don't want to read your series
Of conspiracy theories
Just stop forwarding that crap to me
And your two million loser friends
All have my address now
Cause you never figured out the way to B C C
Now I gotta insist
Take me off of your list
Stop forwarding-- that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
(repeats)
Ahhhhhhh