Has anybody here seen a chick called Dick?
He looks real burly but he's really hip.
He's six feet tall and his arms are all brown and hairy.
He married Betty Lou back in sixty-five,
When you had to be butch to survive
But lately he's been looking at his wife with mixed emotions.
You see, he's not a common place closet queen.
He shouldn't be hidden, he should be seen.
'Cos when he puts on that dress, he looks like a princess.
The day he came out of the wardrobe,
Betty Lou got quite a surprise.
She didn't know whether she should get angry or not bat an eye.
She really couldn't call up her mama;
Mama would positively die.
Should she go or stay or should she try to get a trial separation?
You see, he's not a faggot as you might suppose.
He just feels restricted in conventional clothes.
'Cos when he puts on that dress, he feels like a princess.
Bridge
He's not a dandy, he's only living out a fantasy.
He's not a pansy, he's only being what he wants to be.
Now his life is rearranged,
And he's grateful for the change.
He's out of the wardrobe, and now he's got no regrets.
Betty Lou didn't know what to do at first,
But she's learning to cope at last.
She's got the best of both worlds, and she's really in a state of elation.
She says it helps their relationship.
She says a change is as good as a rest.
And their friends finally coming 'round to their way of thinking.
She wears the trousers and smokes the pipe.
And he washes up; she helps him wipe.
'Cos when he puts on that dress, he looks like a princess.
Outro
He's out of the wardrobe and he's feeling all right.
He's out of the wardrobe and he's feeling satisfied.
Now it's farewell to the past,
The secret's out at last.
He's out of the wardrobe, and now he's got no regrets.