She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee, her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to mass and whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple, she has curlers in her hair
I even heard her singing in the abbey
verse 2
She's always late for chapel, but her penitence is real
She's always late for everything, except for every meal
I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey
Pre-Chorus
I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me laugh
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find the word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet, a will-o'-the wisp, a clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
verse 3 (a capella)
She'd out pester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle, she is wild, she's a riddle, she's a child
She's a headache, she's an angel, she's a girl
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find the word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet, a will-o'-the wisp, a clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?