Some time ago, at Santa's place up in the old North Pole
There lived a lump of anthracite whose parents called him Joel
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal happy as a lump can be
He just wants to keep Santa warm and make the elves cozy
But Santa Claus had other plans for Joel one fateful day
Joel, you're just the lump I need come join me on my sleigh
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal heart leapt up with joy
I'll soon be Santa's present to a lucky girl or boy
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We'll laugh and play together and hold each other tight
Snuggle under clean white sheets when we go to sleep at night
Then Santa's elves all laughed at Joel you're in for a surprise
You're not a special Christmas gift you're just a booby prize
What kid would ever want you you're filthy as can be
Now you have to go and live with one who's been naughty
But I make heat, poor Joel cried and electricity
You pollute the air with CO2 and mercury
verse 2
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal fell down upon his knees
I don't wanna live with a naughty kid don't make me, Santa, please
But Santa laughed his jolly laugh Ho, Ho, you stupid lump
You're just the thing to teach this brat that Santa ain't no chump
So off they flew and, before he knew Joel was in a sack
He cried and yelled to Santa Claus why don't we just go back
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And then came Christmas morning
And, much to Joel's surprise (Much to Joel's surprise)
He saw a boy with the saddest face
And tears were in his eyes (Tears were in his eyes)
He picked Joel up and held him
And said you can be my friend (Hey man, let's be friends)
I would've liked some presents but
You're what Santa chose to send (Santa chose to send)
It's true, I've been a naughty boy
And maybe that's a sin (Maybe that's a sin)
If this is how Santa treats the kids, I'm just glad that I'm not him
verse 3
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal knew what he must do
He said now I know the reason why I got sent to you
Cause when a person hurts inside it turns him hard and cruel
But I know how to make your pain into a precious jewel
So take me in your hand, young man and squeeze with all your might
Let's turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright
Then Joel, Joel, the lump of coal he gave his life away
Oh, one good naughty little boy had a diamond on Christmas day