It says here that the unions will never learn
And it says here that the economy is on the upturn
And it says here we should be proud that we are free
And our free press reflects our democracy
Those braying voices on the right of the house
Echo down the street of shame
Where politics mix with bingo and tits
In a money and numbers game
Where they offer you a feature on stockings and suspenders
Next to a call for stiffer penalties for sex offenders
It says here that this year's prince is born
And it says here "d'you ever wish that you were better informed?"
And it says here that we can only stop the rot
With a large dose of law and order and a touch of the short sharp shock
Is this does not reflect your view you must understand
That those who own these papers also own this land
And they'd rather you believe in Coronation Street capers
In the war for circulation, it sells newspapers
Would it be an infringement of the freedom of the press to print
Pictures of women in states of undress?
When you wake up to the fact that your paper is Tory
Just remember there are two sides to every story