My friend Jerry Vanderdrift kissed me in home-ec class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you, I like monster trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do ? I just wish I was queer
So I could get chicks dig guys that are queer guys that
Don't dig chicks, that don?t dig guys like me, see I?m not queer
I'm too ugly, but if I were handsome just imagine how great that would be
You see I'm not to keen on this smell of vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I just wish I was queer
( I think it's enough too figure out the rest alone )