Well it all began in my high school days when I spent the summer with my cousin Jake
We were helpin' his daddy out on the dairy farm
Now on Sundays we didn't have to work and one Sunday when his daddy was off to church
Jake invited me to share my first six-pack out in the barn
He said you take one and I'll have the rest, brother this'll put some hair on your chest
So I got on with the hair-growin' and I chugged it down
Well you shoulda seen the look in my cousin's eyes when I jumped off the loft 'cause I
Thought I could fly
I was actin' like a crazy fool runnin' around
When his daddy got home and he heard the noise, he come runnin' to the barn to check on us boys
He took one look at me and said Bill what's got into you
Well he began to pray to get the demons out, and it musta worked cuz when I opened my mouth
I lost my demons all over his Sunday suit
I'm a cheap drunk, that's what I am (that' what I am)
I get tore up on one little can (just one little can)
I may not last that long but we'll have fun
Have mercy on me, 'cause I'm a cheap drunk
INTRO
Now I've been this for most of my life, as a matter of fact that's how I met my wife
She was sittin' at the bar lookin' like a dream
Well I walked right up and said my name is Bill, I could tell by her look she was
Less than thrilled
But I said honey, do you mind if I buy you a drink
She said ok Phil let's have some fun, then the night became a danged marathon
She was tossin' 'em back like she was drinkin' ice tea
Before long the room started spinnin' 'round, but I was determined I was gonna stand my ground
No woman was ever gonna get the best of me
Well the last words I slurred were I'll have one more, then somehow I woke up kissin' the floor
And to tell you the truth I don't remember the fall
But standin' over me was a lady in white, I said what happened and where the hell am I
And that's when she introduced herself as Mrs. Bill Engvall
CHORUS
Have mercy on me, 'cause I'm a cheap drunk
N/C
Have mercy on me, 'cause I'm a cheap drunk
SPOKEN: That's right boys, I've had my fill, I'm gonna go ugly early, somebody call me a