Everyday in Lunch in high school
And all my senior year,
I'd drink my coca-cola with a touch of everclear.
I didn't have to study math, science or history,
I'd have a chemical flashback to jog my memory.
My junior year I swore I loved sweet miss Sherry Ann
One night I put some everclear in her dr. pepper can.
I thought it would make her easy,
But she took it pretty hard
I took her home and rang her doorbell,
Left her laying in the yard.
CHORUS
Tequila dries me out,
And beer just makes me fat,
Whiskey makes me nauseous,
Tell me who the hell needs that.
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin,
The answer's crystal clear,
It's the invisible intoxicant,
It's called everclear.
Riff 1 X 2
I remember my church picnic
In the spring of '89
They had four fresh watermelons,
Sliced right off the vine.
When the bowed their heads
Giving Grace for the food,
I pulled out my bottle,
And I soaked them melons good.
They never knew what hit em,
When the potion went to work,
They had grandmas doing backflips,
Grandpas looking up their skirts.
They were singing hallelujah,
And Willie Nelson songs.
My preacher said it was the best dang picnic
That the Baptists have ever thrown.
CHORUS
Well now I'm drinking everclear,
Thinking I'm king of this whole world
I'm bigger n badder than John Wayne,
Cooler than Steve Earl.
Till I wake up and I'm face down in the hall,
And I'm completely naked for a reason I can't recall
I'm kinda sorta thinkin that maybe I met a chick
Cause there is perfume in the air
And there is lipstick on my neck
Well I hope that she was pretty,
And I hope that she was kind
Enough to leave my clothes somewhere
They're easy to find
CHORUS