There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy
He lived in a cage the size of his thumb
And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks
He galloped around until he was hit by a car
-- Verse II --
Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird
Just to remind myself I'll never fly
Sometimes I burn my arms with a cigarette
Just to pretend I won't scream when I die
-- Chorus --
If my life was as long as the moon's
I'd still be jealous of the sun
If my life lasted only one day
I'd still be drunk by noon
Yes I'd still be drunk by noon
*Whistling Verse *
Sometimes I hope I come down with cancer
At least then I'll get to stay in bed and watch TV all day
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers
Even if all my questions are taken away
*Chorus *