I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something, something I can use
People love it when you lose
They love dirty laundry
Well, I could have been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around (two bars)
We got the bubble-headed bleach blonde comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die
Give us dirty laundry
Can we film the operation, is the head dead yet
Y'know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set
We need dirty laundry
You don't really need to find out what's going on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they’re down
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff, kick 'em all around
Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pies
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry
We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing
When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down )
(Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down )