I convinced myself you don't want me anymore
If it takes a couple hours for you to text back
Even though you said you loved me when you left this morning
And I know that you could never change your mind that fast
I start to panic the moment you leave
When your side of the bed hasn't even gone cold
When I'm all alone I don't know who to be
Like my arms lost their purpose without you to hold
I'm scared of falling in love again
I'm obsessive, codependent, and straight up suffocating
Like I can't stand to exist without someone holding my hand
When I get attached
I hate who I am
I hate who I am
I constantly feel like there's something to prove
Like you need convincing I'm worth it to stay
But I end up putting too much pressure on you
Crushed under all my insecurities
So maybe I'm the issue
Maybe I'm the one to blame
I was overbearing and that drove you away
The reason my relationships all went up into flames
They all started to hate me because of how much love I gave
I'm scared of falling in love again
I'm obsessive, codependent, and straight up suffocating
Like I can't stand to exist without someone holding my hand
When I get attached
I hate who I am
Who I am
N.C.